January 4 2010

It is so quiet and glowy outside at 5:30am on this January 4th morning in Manomet. Dollops of snow, like egg whites, lay across the tops of bushes and it is dark as can be out there. I get invigorated by the feeling that I’m the only one awake at this time – at least, that’s what I like to pretend is the case. But a few cars meander up the side streets of my little neighborhood at that hour, slowly making their way to Rt. 3A, headed north to Boston. I’m not headed to the commuter rail this morning – a change in pace from the past several years of doing just that. Today I will work on reinventing myself. I like that phrase, but I think I’m really just unburying myself from the corporate rubble and mainstream commute. And hoping to break out of the norm, maybe even embrace a 24-hour clock for living, sleeping, and working. I’ll get severance for a few months, unemployment (another thing to do today!), and I want volunteer gigs in order to get that feeling I need so desperately of being valued where I work. But if I had it my way – truly – I would grow hydro cukes and tomatoes, “can” them, and sell them locally. And write about it. I would tie-dye silk and make scarves, curtains, and whatever else that calls for hand-dyed silk crepe de chine. I would write about my former egocentric Ph.D-riddled office. But first, like with most mornings, I feel compelled to cook something today that matches a seasonal urge and that motivates me. It has to be wintery, it has to be savory, and it has to take a while…perhaps braised short ribs. For true motivation in the way of writing and organization, there must be onions and garlic sautéing in the background – and since it is winter in New England, something scrumptious needs to cook for hours today. My kitchen and living room are one space and my computer has recently joined in - I am prepped for optimal multi-tasking in the areas of cooking, conjuring, creating, and crafting.